How Naruto And Sasuke Got Together
by singingrain
Summary: Sasuke just won't give up. Naruto is scarred for life. Poor, poor little Naruto. Very crackish. Oneshot. SasuNaru.


A cry that was heard for miles pierced the dorm hallway, with a screeching blond tearing around the corner, obviously being the one it initiated from. Kiba sighed. What the hell was the matter with the idiot today?

Naruto turned at the sound and latched onto Kiba for dear life.

"KIBA!!!" He wailed. "You have to help me! The teme's out to get me, dattebayo!" He said with wide, frightened eyes.

Kiba gave him a look that clearly said what-have-you-been-smoking and replied, "So? He's been out to get you since… well, forever. Sheesh, man."

Naruto eyes got even larger, staring at Kiba with horror…

Then he promptly ran away screaming like a little girl.

_cool fl__ashback line that does the wave!_

Naruto had been happily munching on his ramen, when Sasuke burst through the door to their shared dorm, slamming it behind him. Naruto laughed around his forkful of ramen and said amusedly,

"I see you're in your usual good mood."

Naruto snickered while Sasuke gave him the Uchiha Death Glare.

The raven then proceeded to march angrily over to where Naruto was sitting, and hissed in his ear,

"This is all YOUR fault."

"Ehhhh…?" Naruto turned to face Sasuke, clearly confused. He hadn't even seen the damn teme all day! How could he of caused Sasuke's pissy mood?

Sasuke continued, bringing his face in close to Naruto's, as he continued in an angry voice.

"How am I supposed to get anything done when all I fucking think about is YOU, you stupid dobe."

"Ehhhh…?" Naruto was still soooo lost it wasn't even funny. Well, actually, it is, because he looks adorable when he's confused. Or, at least Sasuke thought so. And then, Sasuke had a revelation. It was a perfect plan! He brought his head to the side of Naruto's, and whispered huskily, the heat from his mouth ghosting over Naruto's ear.

"I'm going to make you mine, dobe."

Naruto shot up and backwards, falling over the back of the couch, the half eaten ramen container spilling all over Sasuke.

Now THAT he had understood. And that was definitely NOT what one said to their rival/best friend.

Sasuke looked pissed from the ramen on him, and amused from Naruto's reaction as Naruto bolted out the door, giving a loud shriek.

_…end flashback dotted fuzzy line…_

Naruto sat in the hallway's corner, knees tucked up to his chest. The teme had wanted him like THAT since FOREVER? But- But- They were in gym class together in high school- and they had taken showers together and -

BAD THOUGHTS! BAD THOUGHTS! STOP THE BAD THOUGHTS!!!

Naruto calmed himself before he started to hyperventilate or something. Sure, this was surprising… and disturbing on SO many levels… but he could deal with it! He was Naruto freaking Uzumaki! No teme's damn lust would get to him!

….Aw, damnit. He was screwed.

No! He would just avoid Sasuke wherever he could. And separate their stuff in the room. And lock the door to the bathroom. This could work…

Naruto walked with renewed vigor at his awesome plan back to their dorm. He would simply lay down the law to the teme. He courageously opened the door wide to find…

No teme.

Ok… Try again.

Naruto looked under the beds, behind the couch, and finally, checked the bathroom.

The teme was in there brushing his teeth. Ok, so that's fine, it's perfectly normal.

Wait a second… The teme was using an ORANGE toothbrush.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Naruto sank to his knees, clutching his head and cursing to the heavens. WHY? WHY HIM?!

Sasuke looked over at the distraught blond, spit in the sink, and said calmly,

"Oh, it's you."

"My precious toothbrush-ttebayo! How could you!"

Sasuke looked down, feigning surprise.

"I didn't even notice it was yours," he said blandly. Naruto gave him a glare and had a sneaking suspicion in the back of his mind.

"You… you just wanted to indirect kiss me, and was hoping I wouldn't see and would indirect kiss you back, dattebayo!" Naruto shouted, pointing an accusing finger. Sasuke scoffed.

"Only you could think up something so idiotic…"

Naruto narrowed his eyes and studied Sasuke. His cheeks were tinged pink. That WAS what he was trying to do! The sneaky teme!

"It doesn't matter anyway-ttebayo, I'll just get a new one," Naruto said, and walked off. Little did he know this was only the beginning….

**-awesome break line-**

"TEME!!! Putting Lubricating Massage Oil on my grocery list is not helping your case!"

"I have no idea how that got there."

"It's in your handwriting, jackass!"

"What a strange coincidence…"

**-awesome break line-**

"Sasuke…"

"Hn."

"WHY do all of my boxers have 'Property of Sasuke Uchiha' written on the BUTT…?"

"Hn. A kami must be trying to tell you something."

"Does this kami HAPPEN to go by the name SASUKE, dattebayo?"

"Perhaps."

**-awesome break line-**

"Teme, do you happen to know anything about the VIDEO CAMERA in the shower-ttebayo?"

"That's strange, it was supposed to be well hid- I mean, I have no earthly idea what you're talking about."

And this continued, until one day, Naruto finally gave in.

And that's how Naruto and Sasuke got together.

Because we all know how well Sasuke can obsess over something.

-coughitachicough-

And Sasuke never did admit to using Naruto's toothbrush on purpose.

After all, that was just silly.

**-end crackish story line-**

Fluffles: Oh dear lordy… I have succumbed to the part of my brain that points and laughs at things that aren't funny…

Bay: Don't worry, I did that a looooong time ago.

Fluffles: -snort- I don't doubt it. Eh, but I went to the movies the other day, and it was a full theater, and… I was the only one laughing…

Bay: And you have that really loud, annoying laugh…

Fluffles: Exactly. The lady behind me told me to shut up when I laughed at a 'serious' scene.

Bay: Ah, so this story is a by-product of the little kid in your brain hopping up and down saying 'no fair-it was FUNNY'

Fluffles: Yes… Maybe I should apologize to the people reading this… I IS SORRY!!!

Bay: I AM sorry.

Fluffles: That too!

Bay: Now, even though it's a little late, tell the nice people you don't own Naruto.

Fluffles: Pwsh! Of course I don't! Their outfits would be much cuter!

Bay: -slams head on keyboard-


End file.
